TEMPERAMENT STILL NEEDS TAMING

20/6/22
Chorley & District League Div-3:
Horwich RMI 'B' 136-149 Eagle & Child 'A'
v JEFF FARRINGTON L 12-21

Driving home from Horwich after a second convincing away defeat in five days, Gideon Coe's eclectic tunes on Radio 6 were once again the source of reflective bowling thoughts.
This time I realised I've been getting above my station a bit, thinking I should be winning matches when I have no right to. Such delusions are the driving force behind frequent returns to lapses in composure recently, thus lapses of concentration which leads to forgetting the basics. In fact even just forgetting to enjoy it.
I'd already got myself a bit stressed against Jeff, even with the score at 11-11. At this point, a head as level as the scorecard was required, but having already burst the bubble of calmness when trailing after a tidy start, even coming back to level terms wasn't enough to restore equilibrium.
This wasn't just the usual split second snap of flicking my bowl in to the ditch, this was a throwback to continuous irritation at my own play and a year on, I'm better than that and I really should know better than that. Punching the playing surface and getting myself absorbed in to a self-deprecating stress pit is not the making of a champion at any sort of level.
Jeff began hurting me up and down the near side of the green, slightly uphill and grassier one way, slightly downhill and even quicker with less grass the other way.
At 11-16 I broke the rot briefly and despite thinking about going over the only other available area of the green at that time which was the bobbly patchwork like nothing I'd seen on a bowls surface, I double dared myself to go back where Jeff had been successful. Afterwards, a few of my teammates were rightly perplexed as to why I did that because of course, yes, I made a total hash of it, starting with sending the jack way too far.
Up and down that nearside we continued and I just couldn't force a way in against Jeff's good bowls. It wasn't long before he put me out of my misery.
I thought I'd got on top of temperamental issues, but it seems it's just a lid that's not screwed on very tight. When games don't go my way, the demons rear their ugly head again. It started last Thursday, I should have seen the tell tale signs.
It's just my competitive nature, but I'm letting myself down and ultimately the team when I get my heckles up.
Fortunately though, the remaining Eagles kept their heads. We won five games to three and despite my loss by nine we were up on chalks too and further clarified our standing as league leaders. 

Having just written this recent piece in draft, I have just researched Jeff's form and I really did have no rights to win.
After losing his opener to a good player in Geoff Milliard at Westhoughton, this was Jeff's seventh victory in succession in the Chorley league, notably beating Aaron Hayhurst on his other home green at Fox Lane last week which is some feat. Jeff also stands fifth in the Division Three merit order, so I was definitely being hard on myself.
With the reset button now clicked, I need my next game quickly. It's going to be back to basics and hopefully back to winning ways.