STILL TRYING TO TAME THE ENEMY (AND THE IDIOT) WITHIN
Thursday 1st June 2023Leyland & District League Div-3: Eagle Reds - Wymott
v STEFAN HARGREAVES W 21-19
As team captain Harry Glynn locked the door up on another night's bowling at the Eagle green, he reminded me, "You're your own worst enemy".
He said it last Summer too. Will I ever learn?
As a grade 'A' idiot, you might think I'd have got used to being one by now and all that comes with it. But you see, there lies the true depth of my idiocy. For I am such an idiot that I forget that I actually am an idiot and set the bar too high for myself, thinking I might be something other than. (An idiot)
In sport, keeping my composure has never been an easy lid to keep screwed on. A competitive nature sometimes unnaturally manifests itself out of all proportion.
As a footballer, I struggled to take defeat with grace and could quite easily lose my rag even when my team were winning easily. As a fellrunner, if I wasn't feeling it in a big race that I'd earmarked, kicking tussocks and roaring "Fuuuuuck!" was not unheard of from time to time.
In bowls, lack of composure normally stems from a basic inability to accept that I've sent a crap wood and instead let it eat away at me, wittering away some highly self-deprecating expletives to myself... even if I end up winning the end.
The idiocy within this trait is delusion, because I'm simply not good enough, not experienced enough to be that player who expects something brilliant to happen every time a bowl leaves my hand.
Leopards don't change spots of course and I'm always going to be reactive in competitive situations. But I do need to try and broaden the threshold of more realistic expectation before I start getting upset with myself in crown green.
All that said, I feel some progress has been made in that despite still getting myself seething during a match, I've now managed to recover and come out at the other side and start sending good bowls again. Top player Greg Smith is evidence that showing your feelings and letting out frustration can actually be advantageous if channelled the correct way. There's a grumpy look about Greg most of the time and even in his match against me at Fleetwood in March, he was cursing himself and kicked a wood down the gutter. There's no point then, trying to be poker-faced and introvert. It's just not me, either.
Leopards don't change spots of course and I'm always going to be reactive in competitive situations. But I do need to try and broaden the threshold of more realistic expectation before I start getting upset with myself in crown green.
All that said, I feel some progress has been made in that despite still getting myself seething during a match, I've now managed to recover and come out at the other side and start sending good bowls again. Top player Greg Smith is evidence that showing your feelings and letting out frustration can actually be advantageous if channelled the correct way. There's a grumpy look about Greg most of the time and even in his match against me at Fleetwood in March, he was cursing himself and kicked a wood down the gutter. There's no point then, trying to be poker-faced and introvert. It's just not me, either.
There was no real reason to get all worked up here against Stef though, having played him at their place last season I knew I just had to play as well as I can and my opponent would have a lot to do.
But after a great start, rolling well and going maybe seven or eight up on merit, two or three lousy ends wound me up and it became a vicious circle. In fairness, even when I got over myself, Stef had started sending up one or two great bowls and I wouldn't knock the clarity of his comeback whatsoever.
With my lead shortened to 15-12, Stef then enjoyed a period of making it really difficult for me to score, even when my own bowls were getting back on track and I sensed my opponent started to believe he could see the game out at 15-17.
To be fair to myself, there have been few games at home which slip away without a fight and I got my nose back in front until a poor lead, followed by an ill-judged and poorly executed strike saw Stef mop up a two to regain the advantage at 18-19.
Pegging quite a distance off the crown, Stef sends the jack just a yard inside the zone that was ruthlessly absorbing bowls in to the gutter tonight and then rolls two very similar deliveries both a touch narrow and a yard and a half short. But they counted.
But after a great start, rolling well and going maybe seven or eight up on merit, two or three lousy ends wound me up and it became a vicious circle. In fairness, even when I got over myself, Stef had started sending up one or two great bowls and I wouldn't knock the clarity of his comeback whatsoever.
With my lead shortened to 15-12, Stef then enjoyed a period of making it really difficult for me to score, even when my own bowls were getting back on track and I sensed my opponent started to believe he could see the game out at 15-17.
To be fair to myself, there have been few games at home which slip away without a fight and I got my nose back in front until a poor lead, followed by an ill-judged and poorly executed strike saw Stef mop up a two to regain the advantage at 18-19.
Pegging quite a distance off the crown, Stef sends the jack just a yard inside the zone that was ruthlessly absorbing bowls in to the gutter tonight and then rolls two very similar deliveries both a touch narrow and a yard and a half short. But they counted.
My first wood found the land but didn't quite wobble to a halt in time and fell down the greenside trap. To save the game with my second wood, I found the same road and this time it thought about it, but just stayed in. It was a cracking effort under the circumstances. Literally an inch from losing the match, but now very much back in it. 19-19.
Sending a very delicate round peg down to the front of our clubhouse, I finished the match with two very neatly placed close efforts and thankfully Stefan didn't quite do enough to create disruption.
With the absolute utmost respect to this opponent, I felt I made a real meal of it to win here and was slightly fortunate to do so, although my last three bowls had to be good enough and they were.
Only my third match in the last two and a half weeks, a bit of rustiness perhaps. But loss of composure most definitely the telling factor.
BANKSY ON FIRE
Steven Banks finds himself at the brunt of most jokes at the club but takes it all with good grace. As I may have mentioned previously, Banksy is one on his own but when his head is on it, he can play some bowls.
He admittedly doesn't like a parched green running super-quick and maybe that contributed to the acute levels of concentration displayed as he had us all purring under the pavilion with consistently cracking deliveries that notched up a crazy lead of 17-0. His opponent had a nice delivery style and didn't look easy pickings by any means.
Wymott's Lee Anderson remarkably kept his cool (going off my own standards, I'd have lost the plot by then) and fought back to scratch eight on the card before Banksy inevitably got over the finishing line.
Banksy was ON it. So was the team as we finally ticked off our first win of the season.
QUARTER TERM REPORT
With a quarter of the crown green season gone already, early promise and subsequent expectation of myself to improve have hit the buffers.
Thursday nights in the Leyland & District League remain a constant, but I've lost my place in the Monday Chorley league team and it's difficult to see a way back in just now.
Match practice is now lacking.
Confidence is also knocked at present and as a result I'm just not quite enjoying the game or buzzing about it in the same way.
Equally, a few injury niggles over the past few weeks have hampered preparations for having a crack at Blencathra, one of my favourite fell races and a focal point of my training all year. Tendinitis in my right knee sends some gentle reminders to ease off now and again and I have to listen these days or I'm out for a long period.
So there's an element of frustration and disappointment in both codes of sporting activity just now. With extra stuff on the agenda in life as well, it's difficult to see where the Summer bowling and running season is heading just now.
Sending a very delicate round peg down to the front of our clubhouse, I finished the match with two very neatly placed close efforts and thankfully Stefan didn't quite do enough to create disruption.
With the absolute utmost respect to this opponent, I felt I made a real meal of it to win here and was slightly fortunate to do so, although my last three bowls had to be good enough and they were.
Only my third match in the last two and a half weeks, a bit of rustiness perhaps. But loss of composure most definitely the telling factor.
BANKSY ON FIRE
Steven Banks finds himself at the brunt of most jokes at the club but takes it all with good grace. As I may have mentioned previously, Banksy is one on his own but when his head is on it, he can play some bowls.
He admittedly doesn't like a parched green running super-quick and maybe that contributed to the acute levels of concentration displayed as he had us all purring under the pavilion with consistently cracking deliveries that notched up a crazy lead of 17-0. His opponent had a nice delivery style and didn't look easy pickings by any means.
Wymott's Lee Anderson remarkably kept his cool (going off my own standards, I'd have lost the plot by then) and fought back to scratch eight on the card before Banksy inevitably got over the finishing line.
Banksy was ON it. So was the team as we finally ticked off our first win of the season.
QUARTER TERM REPORT
With a quarter of the crown green season gone already, early promise and subsequent expectation of myself to improve have hit the buffers.
Thursday nights in the Leyland & District League remain a constant, but I've lost my place in the Monday Chorley league team and it's difficult to see a way back in just now.
Match practice is now lacking.
Confidence is also knocked at present and as a result I'm just not quite enjoying the game or buzzing about it in the same way.
Equally, a few injury niggles over the past few weeks have hampered preparations for having a crack at Blencathra, one of my favourite fell races and a focal point of my training all year. Tendinitis in my right knee sends some gentle reminders to ease off now and again and I have to listen these days or I'm out for a long period.
So there's an element of frustration and disappointment in both codes of sporting activity just now. With extra stuff on the agenda in life as well, it's difficult to see where the Summer bowling and running season is heading just now.
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