LACKING A KILLER INSTINCT

13/9/22
NEW LONGTON AUTUMN CHARITIES COMPETITION 
At New Longton Bowling Club
1st Qualifying Round
v PAUL CRUMMEY (Southport) L 19-21

In a moment of crackpot fantasy during the short journey straight from work in time for practice, I imagined coverage from some fictional local radio station reviewing the evening's tournament qualifiers. Their crown green correspondent, Jack Green (naturally) was speculating on my pre-match ambitions with a brief interview. Here's a rough transcript of the conversation going on inside my head...
Jack Green: "Well John, putting yourself in the discomfort zone of tournament bowls again, what do think you can realistically achieve tonight?"
Me: "I think getting off to a good start is important and not letting my opponent get ahead too quickly. If I can get a good start, hopefully I can give somebody a good game."
Jack Green: "The New Longton green hasn't been kind to you on your two visits here in the local leagues. Does this add to the pressure of not looking like a complete plonker who is out of his depth?"
John: "A little bit, Jack. I mean I am a plonker who is out of his depth, but I think if you don't throw yourself in with the lions then you'll never become one in this game. It's about how I play on the night and just soaking up the experience."
Jack Green: "Thanks John and good luck"
John: "You're welcome Jack, cheers."
(Maybe I went too far with it?😆)
As things transpired, not only did I carry out those pre-match intentions, but felt I'd missed a great opportunity of staying on for a place in the next round.
I didn't get off to so much of a good start, more like an absolutely bloody brilliant one! Very good lead bowl after very good lead bowl... I've never had such a prolonged spell of sending top woods.
I went 10-0 ahead. Yes that's right, ten-nil. If I'd been a bit more consistent with my second bowl then the damage could have been even more. I remember looking over at our scoreboard once in to double figures and wishing I could go and get my phone out for a pic.
All good things come to an end though and once Paul got hold of the jack, he showed his quality and was difficult to break, coming back to 10-7 and then 13-12 when it looked like the tide was about to turn. But I was hanging in there, sending good savers to limit him mainly to singles and then started sending some pearlers again, including a corner to corner toucher on New Longton's lengthy expanse to pull away again to 17-14. Paul then had a chance to beat two good weighted efforts, yet about twelve and eighteen inches off the target bowl, but he overran and let me off - I'm now in a great position at 19-14.
Did I think I'd bagged it? Did I pat myself on the back for getting that far?
I don't know, but caught in the moment, looking back my concentration dipped. I didn't send the jack as far as I wished on the next end and then sent my bowls on line but a bit short. Paul sent one passed mine and just in to get the jack back and then turned the screw on me with some tidy leads that frustratingly I couldn't quite dislodge.
I started sending a few more bowls a bit short and the light bulb hadn't pinged that the green was stiffening as the sun went down. I sent a couple of inexcusably very short ones to concede a cheap two that made it nineteen each. Paul was back in control now and when needing just the one, sent a perfect lead bowl that I couldn't get near to budging and that was it.
Having given a good account of myself I wasn't too bothered about losing at the time, but over the next few days I've wondered how I surrendered two very good scoreline situations.
Just a slight lapse in concentration really, brought on by premature feelings of self-gratification at exceeding my expectations.
With a couple more singles competitions to come soon, I ought to find another level of belief and maybe just a bit of confidence. I've proved I can cope in these sort of qualifiers, I just need to believe a bit more and trigger some killer instinct when a winning opportunity next arises.

Driving home...
Jack Green: "So John, ten-nil up? What the hell happened?!"
Me: "No comment".