Thursday 11th June 2026
Leyland & District League Div-1: Eagle Blues (177) 4-9 Brownedge (191)
v NICK WILSON L 14-21
As the dust settles on a second successive defeat this week, I think part of the problem is loss of the fearless attitude that was serving me well. A fear has crept in recently and it's the fear of losing. Whilst I insist it's more the manner of a defeat that matters to me, the fear itself is affecting my game.
There's been some new territory trodden so far this season in that I had got used to winning... and that seems to have triggered a problem with losing again. I've forgotten my place a bit. I think I expect to automatically play well enough to have a chance to win every game, which is putting myself under way too much pressure and consequently too many bowls are leaving my hand with uncertainty.
Once again my reactive side came out and I lost composure way too early in this match against an excellent bowler, Nick Wilson.
I'd been tipped off that Nick was perhaps cream of the Brownedge crop and he was all over it tonight on the Eagle. I would have had to be on tip top form to push him any further than I did. But there's no chance of tip top form just now because my head's up my arse when I go on the green. Nick put me under pressure, which forces errors and that is to be expected, yet rather than shake it off and compose myself to put it right next end, each and every mistake built up like lava beneath a volcanic fault.
Unfortunately, despite trying so hard this year to resist, I had to toe flick a bowl in to the gutter with venom just to let some lava release. I felt better for it and it was like wiping the board clean. I've got my critics in the team who think I should keep a lid on it. But as I explained, we are all different creatures and ultimately, nothing winds myself up in this game quite like not doing the basics such as reaching up or completely missing the land on an uncomplicated mark.
On reflection I probably didn't play as bad as I thought at the time, I put some real shots up at times, but generally it didn't feel at all satisfactory.
Nick went 5-11 up around the time I was losing my rag. Aside from an absolutely awful lead on a short mark followed by uselessly hitting my first bowl, I didn't do too badly from that point onwards but could never penetrate the six or seven points that I trailed throughout most of the match.
When I did feel I was making a bit of progress, Nick struck the block off when I had two close ones, then next end beat my very good lead with a quite incredible bowl that perfectly nestled itself around the back of mine to just count. I could criticise my second bowl for not being obstructive, but it was at this point I simply had to concede to the reality that this guy's simply much better than me no matter what I do.
Despite the red mist, at least I could laugh about it. From that calamitous short end I just mentioned, on walking across I shouted across to the captain, "Sub Aaron?!" I genuinely felt I should be coming off after that one!
Already irritating myself with short bowls, I certainly don't really need continuous confirmation from the sidelines. I'd already had three calls from teammates - all meaning well of course - that I was short on one particular end. I turned to Nick and said, "Bloody hell, I think it's pretty clear I'm short down there, what do you think?" He chuckled.
Then just as I go down to bowl, Harry D pipes up his well versed cliché, "Yard, John!"
I come back up and turn to Nick again, "Fucking hell I need earplugs as well as a fucking straitjacket tonight..." and we both laughed.
Obviously not with malice, but Harry's done that before just as I'm about to bowl. I wouldn't mind, but like last time it was more like two or three yards short than one! Harry and my teammates are only trying to help, but sometimes and particularly when struggling during a game, the statements of the obvious can drive you mad. I'd sooner hear, " For fuck's sake Sutty, short again, get your shit together", for that's what I was thinking. And so from the resulting loss of concentration again - no surprises my second bowl went too far and clunked in to the ditch!
Not a great night at the office for me or the team tonight. Just four winners, Brownedge taking six and the aggregate. The unseasonable cold and damp conditions this month cancelling out some of our home advantage. We go to theirs next week. There's a chance I'll get Nick again I suppose, but whoever, whatever, I need to have a different head on and start a fresh.
This Sunday I've been invited to play in a Federation game for Leyland Town Team against East Cheshire Parks. An unknown green awaits, as does one of the two homesters I've been drawn against that the opposition are permitted to field. No pressure at all for this match though and an opportunity to completely reset with some positive, fearless bowling and restoration of composure no matter what gets chucked at me.
Once again my reactive side came out and I lost composure way too early in this match against an excellent bowler, Nick Wilson.
I'd been tipped off that Nick was perhaps cream of the Brownedge crop and he was all over it tonight on the Eagle. I would have had to be on tip top form to push him any further than I did. But there's no chance of tip top form just now because my head's up my arse when I go on the green. Nick put me under pressure, which forces errors and that is to be expected, yet rather than shake it off and compose myself to put it right next end, each and every mistake built up like lava beneath a volcanic fault.
Unfortunately, despite trying so hard this year to resist, I had to toe flick a bowl in to the gutter with venom just to let some lava release. I felt better for it and it was like wiping the board clean. I've got my critics in the team who think I should keep a lid on it. But as I explained, we are all different creatures and ultimately, nothing winds myself up in this game quite like not doing the basics such as reaching up or completely missing the land on an uncomplicated mark.
On reflection I probably didn't play as bad as I thought at the time, I put some real shots up at times, but generally it didn't feel at all satisfactory.
Nick went 5-11 up around the time I was losing my rag. Aside from an absolutely awful lead on a short mark followed by uselessly hitting my first bowl, I didn't do too badly from that point onwards but could never penetrate the six or seven points that I trailed throughout most of the match.
When I did feel I was making a bit of progress, Nick struck the block off when I had two close ones, then next end beat my very good lead with a quite incredible bowl that perfectly nestled itself around the back of mine to just count. I could criticise my second bowl for not being obstructive, but it was at this point I simply had to concede to the reality that this guy's simply much better than me no matter what I do.
Despite the red mist, at least I could laugh about it. From that calamitous short end I just mentioned, on walking across I shouted across to the captain, "Sub Aaron?!" I genuinely felt I should be coming off after that one!
Already irritating myself with short bowls, I certainly don't really need continuous confirmation from the sidelines. I'd already had three calls from teammates - all meaning well of course - that I was short on one particular end. I turned to Nick and said, "Bloody hell, I think it's pretty clear I'm short down there, what do you think?" He chuckled.
Then just as I go down to bowl, Harry D pipes up his well versed cliché, "Yard, John!"
I come back up and turn to Nick again, "Fucking hell I need earplugs as well as a fucking straitjacket tonight..." and we both laughed.
Obviously not with malice, but Harry's done that before just as I'm about to bowl. I wouldn't mind, but like last time it was more like two or three yards short than one! Harry and my teammates are only trying to help, but sometimes and particularly when struggling during a game, the statements of the obvious can drive you mad. I'd sooner hear, " For fuck's sake Sutty, short again, get your shit together", for that's what I was thinking. And so from the resulting loss of concentration again - no surprises my second bowl went too far and clunked in to the ditch!
Not a great night at the office for me or the team tonight. Just four winners, Brownedge taking six and the aggregate. The unseasonable cold and damp conditions this month cancelling out some of our home advantage. We go to theirs next week. There's a chance I'll get Nick again I suppose, but whoever, whatever, I need to have a different head on and start a fresh.
This Sunday I've been invited to play in a Federation game for Leyland Town Team against East Cheshire Parks. An unknown green awaits, as does one of the two homesters I've been drawn against that the opposition are permitted to field. No pressure at all for this match though and an opportunity to completely reset with some positive, fearless bowling and restoration of composure no matter what gets chucked at me.
He says...
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